Warning this post is about to crush a lot of hopes and dreams.
Remember when you were in college and you made that list of qualities that you wanted in your future husband?
Take a minute, think about it, you did it. You know how I know you did it? Because I did it and my roommates did and my friends did it. Were all guilt!
Well recently I was going through an old journal and I found my list. It was created second semester sophomore year, I had just crossed, and completely submerged myself into sorority life, which is a breeding ground for unrealistic expectations!
The older I’ve gotten the more ridiculous I find my list. As I prepared to write this and looked back over my list, what the heck was I doing? Its like I was waiting for the second coming of Christ, because only Jesus could meet all these expectations. I mean no I didn't put “must have died and then rose again on the third day,” but I did list ridiculous, overly meticulous things like “intelligent,witty and socially comfortable”...I mean seriously that is just a lot to ask for...apparently it wasn't enough that he simply be intelligent.
Now ladies, I am not saying abandon all standards. No, standards are good! Like I could never date someone who zero ambition or didn't laugh at my jokes. But there are some “standards” that we might need to let go go of.
- Specific height requirements. The fact is that if he’s 5’5” he is just going to have to accept that if I am wearing heels I am going to tower him. Get over it!
- Having a very specific athletic talent. On my original list was, a fantastic basketball payer! I've recently added franchised NFL quarterback.... Neither of these looks likely.
- A Great dresser. I've realized that MOST guys who are great dressers have women who dress them. Not every guy will dress like Steve Harvey upon first meeting, he will after six month of courtship...wanna date me, get ready to wear a bow tie!
- Musically inclined. I use to envision my future husband as the worship leader, piano player or drummer. But the fact is that that I myself have pretty much no musical ability, and that dramatically limits my pool of available men, so…. I’m over it !
As I've gotten older I have realized that these things are all superficial and will fade over time. While I still have my list of deal breakers, its filled with character traits rather than superficial attributes;
- Must be pursuing God.
- Able to lead me.
- Must be willing to challenge me concerning the things of God.
I guess I should talk a little about the outfit. The top is from Forever21, I love a peplum it works for every body type! It has a bit of see-threw mesh in the back but for modesty I always wear a black cami under. The jeans are Old Navy skinnys, stretchy and comfortable. And these are my all time favorite flats, they are the Gianni Binni smoking flats and they are so comfy! Thats all...Until next time!